And yet there is this longing to share and connect, especially in the bleary hours of the night, when circumstances and fears press us from sleep and we abandon our beds in search of, if not comfort, at least distraction.
I rose around four yesterday morning, after hours of pretending sleep was just about to descend on me - like that sneeze that you feel coming but hasn't quite burst out yet. I was worn and distinctly un-hopeful. As I realized defeated was my main emotion, I started asking myself, but. . . am I?
Because the truth is that a daughter of the King does not live in defeat, that defeat can only be real if there remains no hope. But. I. have. hope. Often we believe the lie that we are defeated, when Jesus reminds us we are more than conquerors. More than conquerors!
And Jesus whispers again, your emptiness and my abundance are a perfect match. This past Lent of stuffing myself full of scripture rewards me as I putter around my kitchen, making tea and listening to the verses swirling in my head. Let not your heart be fearful or troubled (John 14:27). In Me is life and this life is the light of all (John 1:4). More. And fragments of song: I am pressed but crushed; persecuted not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.
Despite the weight of whatever's pressing in on me, on you, we are not destroyed. When we call to him, he answers in love and care. I am not defeated and there is hope and audacious joy.
To find joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries. Do not worry about tomorrow, or get stuck in the past. There is abundant life in my presence today.