Like a Roaring Lion
Note: I wrote this after Charlotte was born, but I never published it because I got worse after I wrote it and felt like a fake. This post seemed way too silly, but I couldn't figure out what to say instead. At my mothers' support group this week, one of the mamas said, "I don't really talk about it when I'm in it." This comment hit me so hard. That's me. I bet it's many other women too. We don't talk about it, and we stay alone, feeling powerless.
I am done with that. So I'm going to go ahead and post this, not because it's earth shattering and brilliant, but because sharing our stories is the beginning of healing, and it is light. And darkness flees from the light. I have more thoughts on this, and I'm sure they'll find their way here eventually. You know. . . in between dealing with: "Mama! Mama! I pooped under a rock outside!" and "Mama! He's looking at me with a frowny face!"
Make no mistake, it's real and it is powerful. It sits in the corners of my house, lurking like a guilty child, creeping toward me when I am not prepared. I think if I turn my head fast enough I will actually see it, but when I whip around all I see is in fact a guilty child doing something atrocious to my walls with a fairy stamp. But the threat remains. If you've walked this road, you know exactly what I'm talking about. 1 Peter 5:8 warns in no small way, "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." I think that depression must be one of the enemy's major tools for disrupting our lives and distancing us from a God who wants nothing more than to hold us tightly in His love. We lose sight of all that is good and true in the world. It all starts to seem so fake and hopeless, even as your heart cries that this isn't quite true. And the fear that comes with knowing you are falling down a deep hole away from reality looms large. But the next verse in 1 Peter says, "Stand firm against him," and 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds, "God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline."
So. How to fight a roaring lion?
Get dressed.
You certainly can't do it in your pajamas, so get yourself dressed! Choose an outfit you look great in. Hearts and kitties optional.
Be on the look out for simple joys.
Dine al fresco.
With a lovely view.
Depression is real and it is powerful, but you know what? So am I.
I am done with that. So I'm going to go ahead and post this, not because it's earth shattering and brilliant, but because sharing our stories is the beginning of healing, and it is light. And darkness flees from the light. I have more thoughts on this, and I'm sure they'll find their way here eventually. You know. . . in between dealing with: "Mama! Mama! I pooped under a rock outside!" and "Mama! He's looking at me with a frowny face!"
Make no mistake, it's real and it is powerful. It sits in the corners of my house, lurking like a guilty child, creeping toward me when I am not prepared. I think if I turn my head fast enough I will actually see it, but when I whip around all I see is in fact a guilty child doing something atrocious to my walls with a fairy stamp. But the threat remains. If you've walked this road, you know exactly what I'm talking about. 1 Peter 5:8 warns in no small way, "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." I think that depression must be one of the enemy's major tools for disrupting our lives and distancing us from a God who wants nothing more than to hold us tightly in His love. We lose sight of all that is good and true in the world. It all starts to seem so fake and hopeless, even as your heart cries that this isn't quite true. And the fear that comes with knowing you are falling down a deep hole away from reality looms large. But the next verse in 1 Peter says, "Stand firm against him," and 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds, "God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline."
So. How to fight a roaring lion?
Get dressed.
You certainly can't do it in your pajamas, so get yourself dressed! Choose an outfit you look great in. Hearts and kitties optional.
Be on the look out for simple joys.
Dine al fresco.
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Get some exercise. Not in a gym.
Create something out of the ordinary.
When all else fails, take a nap! You can't do battle when you are half asleep.
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