Turtle on its Back

Wyatt making dinner.

Yesterday I thought very hard about getting a nanny.  There were various squabbles and scrabbling sandwiched around total peace as my children ferried water and mud back and forth from the sand table to a "pond" they had created in the backyard.  I sat in the shade and visited with a friend, and it was lovely.  And then.  I keep thinking, sheesh, I need a break, but then I get one and I realize NO BREAK can cure what ails me: children.  (Ok, no break I'm willing to accept.  I was talking with my friend about someone she knew who one day just drove away and left her children behind, and we both shook our heads in disbelief.  One of us said something like, "Well, I can understand, because I had the car in gear ready to flee just the other day. . .   But I would come back!")  So despite my relaxing afternoon, both ends of the day were very difficult.  Amidst the sibling rivalry and sand-in-the-face, there was inappropriate peeing, some of which I will now tell you about.
Easter 2012
Now you might say, 'well, you have a boy; boys pee on things.'  This is true, but actually girls pee on weird things too.  At least mine does.  Anyway, this peeing occurred in the bathroom instead of various places around the yard, so I guess I should consider that a step in the right direction.  All children were in their beds for the night, and there arose such a clatter from the bathroom down the hall.  I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter, and what to my (incredulous) eyes should appear?  A small child (who shall remain nameless) upside down in the bathtub.  Certain items of clothing were missing.  It took some work, but I finally got the story which goes like this:  Earlier in the day, one of my daughters pretended to pee in the garbage can.  Apparently it's all the rage.  No, I have no idea how she planned to accomplish this feat.

Another of my children thought this looked like great fun, but decide to make the whole event more exciting by peeing while standing on top of the closed toilet lid.  This might have all gone off without a hitch except the children had had baths earlier in the evening and various surfaces were slippery.  So while attempting to pee off the toilet into the garbage can, this child slipped into the bathtub.  Fortunately he seemed unharmed, other than a brief turtle-on-its-back experience, from which I rescued him.  Unfortunately, he succeeded in the peeing but not in the aiming.  I think perhaps there was some peeing and falling that happened simultaneously.
I will finish this story by telling you about the lack of sympathy from my husband.  Actually, he burst out laughing.  No sympathy.  He was so unsympathetic that I forgot to tell him that his towel was the only thing handy when I was cleaning up.

Proud chef! (and baby foot in the corner).  Guess we'll keep him. . .


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