In that second decade [of parenting], you become aware that the babyhood and toddlerhood and childhood of these persons were important for the bonds that developed between you -- the trust, the love, the respect -- and not for the success or failure of the individual days that you went through to arrive here. . . . . .So in a way, you have to live through the first years with your eyes on the prize beyond. It's a paradox of time: While you are living in the here and now, appreciating the good things that surround you, you must also look ahead at yourself looking back and seeing these children as very little. Look at them from far above. Move your face closer to God's and try to see things as He does, with the long view.